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Relationships harmed by addiction are fractured, but not broken. The first step in forgiving your loved one for their past actions is understanding the science of addiction. Addiction is a disease that requires professional treatment to overcome. It is chronic, and treatment should include a long-term plan for relapse prevention. Substance use disorders rewire the brain in a way that takes away a person’s power to choose. Your loved one is not able to quit on their own or through sheer force of will.
- The first realistic expectation your loved one can fulfill is to admit they have a problem and seek professional treatment.
- Some may think that taking a tough stance is the way to handle the situation.
- Friends and family members need to see you “walking the walk” to demonstrate that you are serious about your recovery.
- If you get too relaxed in your recovery or take unnecessary risks, they may not trust your intentions.
The relationships that matter most, however, are entirely worth the time and effort. To support recovery and build hope for the future, it‘s important for the person in recovery to try to repair the damage done to relationships. Sometimes having face-to-face conversations is initially too difficult for both parties involved.
Steps Toward Rebuilding Trust During Recovery
Part of recovery and making amends for your behaviors is to apologize to those you hurt. The apology should be sincere by focusing on how your addiction affected those you love. Take responsibility for your actions and let them know you want to repair the relationship and rebuild trust.
When one person in the family develops a substance abuse issue, it doesn’t solely affect them. No matter their drug of choice, their addiction is a family disease, causing stress to the people living in the family home and those closest to the addict. It’s possible that both of you feel inadequate to adjust to the new situation. Seeking couples therapy could prevent the situation from getting worse.
Understand Addiction
When you struggle with addiction, it can be hard to recognize the many ways that substance abuse affects your life. Because substance abuse may change behavior, this can lead you to take risks you may not otherwise take when unimpaired. The repercussions of risk-taking behavior can lead to serious problems like legal troubles, financial issues, divorce, or loss of loved ones. Serious consequences like these can negate trust in your personal and professional relationships.
Can two love addicts be together?
The short answer is: yes, it's possible. But it's also difficult and statistically unlikely. Many rehab treatment centers offer recovery routes known as couple's programs for addicts who are in a relationship. Their staff will guide you into having a relationship where both of you are sober and in recovery.
It hurts them to see who they worked so hard to raise, fall into the clutches of addiction. Parents might be angry and not understand the kind of power the substance has over someone who is addicted. Loving someone with an addiction is a painful and tumultuous experience. You may have watched your spouse, child, sibling, or friend turn from a kind, happy individual, into a selfish and destructive person you no longer recognize. Addiction can cause good people to lie, steal, and say terrible things.
Tips for Rebuilding Trust After Addiction
They can help you process your feelings and develop a plan for self-care moving forward. This means practicing good self-care and avoiding enabling behaviors, like covering for your loved one or making excuses for them. Asking for help when needed is an excellent way to take care of yourself. Offer to cook, do chores around the house, or drive your loved one to meetings or appointments.
Is it possible to forgive an addict?
Know Forgiveness is a Process
Forgiving is not the same as forgetting, and you need to know that it takes time for those wounds to heal. Ultimately, forgiving an addicted loved one can help both of you continue to heal. Understand that it can take just as much time to forgive as it can to get to recovery.
Own up to your actions, admit you have a problem, show humility, and outline the steps you’re taking to improve yourself and not let them happen again. Trust rebuilding life after addiction can take years to develop and even longer to rebuild. It will take many honest answers, conversations, and actions to fully trust that person again.
A therapist can help you practice these conversations and offer a safe space to debrief after challenging interactions. Even though substance use played a role in them, taking accountability for yourself is a sign that you’re trying to work on yourself and do better in the future. Admitting your faults and accepting whatever the response may be is essentially preliminary work. After having these initial tough conversations, it is time to make a change. Have a confidential, completely free conversation with a treatment provider about your financial options. Let Little Creek Recovery Center guide you down the right path to recovery, personal growth, and long-term sobriety.
Can you ever fully rebuild trust?
Yes, it's possible; however, rebuilding trust comes down to making the decision to remain in the relationship, having the discipline to do the work, believing that trust can be re-developed, and being vulnerable and open to change.
It is not a moral failing or lack of willpower – it is a progressive, fatal disease. Your family and friends may be hesitant about contacting you early in your recovery. They may not know what to expect or understand what it means to you. As is appropriate, take the initiative and contact them to show them that you are still the same person as you were, but a much healthier version than they have seen for some time. You still have a sense of humor and can still have fun; you are free from chemicals. Getting clean and sober is essential to having a good, honest relationship with children of any age.
Now that you are in recovery, attention is directed towards restoring those relationships and mending the broken trust. In fact, the process of making amends to loved ones in recovery https://ecosoberhouse.com/ is an important first step in the restoration of trust. Anyone who has battled a substance use disorder would have to admit that it took a significant toll on their relationships.
You may be struggling with anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, or anger issues that need treatment. You may also need to work on any codependent tendencies you have, as well as develop productive coping strategies for stressful situations. This is not to say that your loved one should not be held accountable for their actions. Recovery means owning up to their behavior, whether they were intoxicated at the time or not, and making amends with everyone they have hurt. Your loved one will need to work through their past to fully understand the ways in which their addiction affected those around them, including you. Forgiving them does not mean they no longer need to take responsibly for the pain they have caused, it only means that you are emotionally mature enough to see the big picture.
Clearbrook Manor – Pennsylvania Drug and Alcohol Treatment Center
Maybe you want to hide things you did while on drugs or alcohol. However, rebuilding trust after addiction means being honest about everything, no matter how difficult it may be. Though it takes time, you can rebuild trust in recovery if you take the appropriate steps toward becoming a reliable and stable friend or family member. Although it may sound harsh, you can’t always trust an addict while they’re still using drugs or drinking. Even people who are normally honest become manipulative and secretive to the point where they’re unrecognizable.
